A life without “What Ifs”
Everyone has their idols. That’s not an opinion, a belief, or an empty claim. It’s a fact, period. I still remember the timid five-year-old that always had her hair up in pigtails being asked in the first grade who her idol was. Like, everybody, I replied, my parents, simply because I was a five-year-old, I didn’t have much to go on, my only solid reference to life was my parents. Fundamentally though, that somewhat never changed. I am now a 20-year-old, far from timid, no longer has her hair up in pigtails and an outgoing individual, I’ve experienced life, the extraordinary ups and the agonizing downs that come along with it. I’ve come across beyond brilliant people that bewilder me with their intellectual ability, their generous nature, and their gallant initiatives. Yet, fundamentally my parents, have remained my ultimate idols. However, my list has progressively grown and the reasons for awe and gratitude extend beyond a mere piece of A4 paper. Now the thing about me idolizing my parents meant that in my eyes they could do no wrong. But as time progressed and I came to understand the circumstances better, I realized that even my idols had their fatal flaw.
A fatal flaw seems inevitable for anyone that has been born into this world. My parents had a particular fatal flaw that I was unable to grasp when I was much younger but now being in the face of particular overbearing obstacles it became painfully clear how this fatal flaw ate away the fiery passion that drove my parents towards the individual successes they’ve obtained. That fatal flaw was regret. My parents married when they were undeniably young and was still trying to gain a better understanding of life. Things were different then, cultural norms were grounded by what we now deem as traditional views. They gave up a lot, at the time without a doubt, without any form of hesitance, to be with one another and to start a family. A family is what they had, a loving family with ambitious kids, a humble home, and a financially stable situation that deemed substantial for the people within the family. However, as I continuously listened to both my mom and dad tell me about the successes they’ve had, their stories are all laced with regret. A “what if” they had decided to take another path in life, a “what if” they weren’t bound by traditional views.
Something became painfully clear: “What if” was the root and core of prolonged unhappiness that would eventually dim out the flame that contributes to one’s burning passion. Although as times change, the environment and I as an individual have changed one thing has remained stagnant: I want to be able to live a life with no regrets. I understand that I have yet to face off with what life truly has to offer. That the beasts of the dilemma with extensive consequences have yet to be thrown my way. And yet I will stand my ground, I will live a life with no regrets.
It sounds impossible and unwittingly insane. As difficult as it may sound, it can be done. Regret can be countered with the simplest of concepts, a seven lettered word: attempt. An attempt at everything you can possibly get your hands on. Attempt wholeheartedly. Attempt with effort because as tiring as it sounds it allows you to be able to face the aftermath with the allegation that you actually gave it your best shot. No empty words, no what-ifs, just a lesson learned and a step closer to your very own assured success. Your biggest competitor is not the damning words the outside have to throw at you but it is yourself when you refuse to attempt and you allow those damning words to take away opportunities. This is your future what-ifs, giving up before even rolling the dice on the table. Take a step back, evaluate what are your current possibilities, what do you require to achieve them and how are you going to best attempt at each and every single identified possibility.
Remember: great stories never started with “I can’t” but they always started with “I can.”
Breathe…we’ll get there.
